What's a Little Giri Between Friends?

We're back in Japan after 2 1/2 months away. No new pictures, but here are a couple I've been saving. The first one I'll call "Koi Rush Hour." I shot the twins, my daughters, one day as I headed off to study. They often run to the window to see me get on my bicycle and roll down the short path to the river. Three days ago when we returned that path was overgrown knee high with weeds. Yesterday, I went to a hardware store and bought a short, hand held hoe, and this morning I went to work clearing them out. After a few minutes I realized that my tool was too small. The hoe, that is, only measured 3 inches across. The path is about 6 feet wide and maybe 50 feet long. 300 square feet of weeds, four chops per square foot, 1200 swings. As I chopped I found myself pondering Agent Orange. I cleared about a third of the area before the sun came out full force and drove me inside. I'll finish tonight and tomorrow morning. I bought a bag of weed killer to hopefully insure no repeats this summer.

While I was out there my neighbors said that a husband and wife, our friends, had come two weeks ago and CLEARED OUT THE ENTIRE PATH just to help us out. Apparently, before they'd come, we had some six foot tall weeds reaching over the top of our laundry pole! The couple who came are both retired. We've gotten to know their daughter and grandkids and helped them is some ways. But...man...I can't imagine them out there clearing out those weeds. They were out there all day, I heard, and Tokyo was in the midst of a record setting heat wave at the time.

Once you become close with someone in Japan they may surprise you.

I wasn't going to comment more than that, but I realized that some people will read this and say, "That's 'giri." But dismissing what they did would be a mistake. Giri was surely involved in part. "Giri" is ever present in relationships here. Giri is sometimes translated "obligation." That sounds negative to many, because "obligation" often implies the offering person is insincere or forced to do something. But "obligation" and "giri" are not the same; there is no word for "giri" in English. It's a type of social obligation, or shared sense of responsibility, that holds this group oriented society together. Japanese people sometimes speak directly about "giri" with a negative meaning (when you have to talk about it then something has gone wrong). But most of the time giri is an unspoken reality that isn't necessarily positive or negative. The "harmony" that Japan is known for is the product of a well scripted, carefully followed social dance. Giri is just one of the rules of life that keep the dancers in unison.

Posted by jw at August 21, 2004 10:21 PM