Boke, Boke but Feeling OK in Japan

The day I shot this photo of my daughter, three days ago, I figured I was finally adjusted back to Japan. We slept in that morning, and when I woke up my head felt more clear. One nice thing about returning from the USA is that you wake up by 5am for the first few days and feel great. Each time I come back, it seems like I take up running, which lasts for about two weeks. Tomorrow will be my third day.

But other than early morning bursts of energy, it felt like I was swimming through my days. Unpacking and reorganizing to fit in the stuff we brought back. Never going outside. Enduring the muggy heat of August.

On the second day I drove the van to go shopping. I took a left turn on the way and it didn't feel right at all. I thought for a moment, then quickly switched over to the left lane feeling very embarrassed. A few evenings later I made the same left turn. As I rounded the corner, I thought, "I can't believe it! Of all the luck, here is another guy -- probably the only other guy in Japan -- driving on the wrong side of the road; and he's coming straight toward me!" That thought lasted for about a quarter second, and then I very quickly switched lanes.

My problem is that I AM a perfectionist, but I am so far from perfect.

The good news is that the hot, muggy heat stopped suddenly after a week back, and it's been wonderfully cool since -- with a light, cool rain these past two days, the kind I love to be outside walking in. Actually, I was running in it.

One Japanese friend is out of the country, but I had coffee with another friend and we spoke in Japanese. I lost quite a few words this summer, but basically it's still there.

I'm refreshed and ready for new challenges. Then again, I don't know how clear my head gets even at best. Tonight I cooked a pot of rice and forgot to put in the water... My wife was pretty upset. She still has that tendency from childhood to revere rice. You know, eat each grain out of respect for the farmers. Maybe you don't know. But later she laughed so hard that she cried. So we're good. Jya mata!

What's a Little Giri Between Friends?

We're back in Japan after 2 1/2 months away. No new pictures, but here are a couple I've been saving. The first one I'll call "Koi Rush Hour." I shot the twins, my daughters, one day as I headed off to study. They often run to the window to see me get on my bicycle and roll down the short path to the river. Three days ago when we returned that path was overgrown knee high with weeds. Yesterday, I went to a hardware store and bought a short, hand held hoe, and this morning I went to work clearing them out. After a few minutes I realized that my tool was too small. The hoe, that is, only measured 3 inches across. The path is about 6 feet wide and maybe 50 feet long. 300 square feet of weeds, four chops per square foot, 1200 swings. As I chopped I found myself pondering Agent Orange. I cleared about a third of the area before the sun came out full force and drove me inside. I'll finish tonight and tomorrow morning. I bought a bag of weed killer to hopefully insure no repeats this summer.

While I was out there my neighbors said that a husband and wife, our friends, had come two weeks ago and CLEARED OUT THE ENTIRE PATH just to help us out. Apparently, before they'd come, we had some six foot tall weeds reaching over the top of our laundry pole! The couple who came are both retired. We've gotten to know their daughter and grandkids and helped them is some ways. But...man...I can't imagine them out there clearing out those weeds. They were out there all day, I heard, and Tokyo was in the midst of a record setting heat wave at the time.

Once you become close with someone in Japan they may surprise you.

I wasn't going to comment more than that, but I realized that some people will read this and say, "That's 'giri." But dismissing what they did would be a mistake. Giri was surely involved in part. "Giri" is ever present in relationships here. Giri is sometimes translated "obligation." That sounds negative to many, because "obligation" often implies the offering person is insincere or forced to do something. But "obligation" and "giri" are not the same; there is no word for "giri" in English. It's a type of social obligation, or shared sense of responsibility, that holds this group oriented society together. Japanese people sometimes speak directly about "giri" with a negative meaning (when you have to talk about it then something has gone wrong). But most of the time giri is an unspoken reality that isn't necessarily positive or negative. The "harmony" that Japan is known for is the product of a well scripted, carefully followed social dance. Giri is just one of the rules of life that keep the dancers in unison.

Home Making and Dreaming in Japan

I suggest you click on this picture (to enlarge it) so you can see the details and "read the story." I see three young workers, but one has been touched by a romantic dream of escape from the confines of the salaryman's life. What do you see? I shot this from the street in Shinjuku looking up at a coffee shop window. You can see the mural on the building plus glimpse into the hair salon upstairs.

We're gearing up for our return to Japan. After two months in the US, I'm looking forward to getting back home again. We've been in Japan for a little over two years, and in our present place for just a few months, but it's "home." It's our space. The place where we've planted ourselves, and the location from which we dream dreams. Being on vacation is great as long as you have a home and dreams to return to...

And we're not returning empty handed! We bought four seats on the airplane, so we can check in up to eight bags. It makes sense to shop for a few things while we're here. So here's the short list: one crockpot (only certain people will understand the wonderfulness of this item), and 12-cup Braun coffee maker and burr grinder (for when we have guests), two backpacks and sleeping bags (for backpacking in the mountains), lots of little gifts for friends, a very large, plastic dollhouse for our daughter (purchased on EBay), etc.

What's my point? For one, it's cheaper to buy these things in the USA (although it's going to be a major pain to get them through the airports with three kids). But why bring such things to Japan? I guess we're still finding our balance. Our lives have changed greatly since moving to Japan. We eat differently (and more healthily); live in a smaller space; play differently; entertain ourselves more simply and with less mobility; and we're still finding our way in lots of areas. Change is good, but continuity is not bad either. You have to choose what to let go and what's worth holding onto. And after letting go of some things, you may rediscover their value. We've let go of a lot, gained much, and the list above gives you some idea of what we'd like to hold onto.